Translated by H. A. Hodges
I | II
| III | IV
| V | VI | VII
| VIII
LETTER
I
Ann Thomas to John Hughes
28 November 1800
Dear brother,
I have had this
opportunity to send you these few lines, in order to show my readiness
to receive and answer your substantial letter, as I fully believe
that it was in the field of Boaz that you gleaned the ears of
corn, so full and so charged with blessing, which you sent me,
bidding me rub them and feed on them; and I think they had so
much effect on my mind as to make me sigh for the Rock, for you
could not have sent anything more pertinent to my condition, as
was your intention, because you knew more of my story in all its
troubles than anyone else.
I am glad, glad, to hear of your
perseverance in meditation on your condition and in the Word,
and I wish you prosperity in all.
As for us at Pontrobert, in bodily health as usual; spiritually,
the seiat as a body is much more alert, and the ministry generally
full of unction.
I have not much to say at present
about any persons in particular, but I should be glad to relate
how it is with me. I have had some very smart trials, and strong
winds, to the point that I almost lost my breath on the slopes;
but I considered myself to be pulled up the hill by the following
two chains: ‘And a Man shall be as an hiding place,’
&c.; ‘Come, my people, — and hide thyself,’
&c. It was calm and warm for a time.
I have had another trial concerning
spending time in the Church of God, deciding my religion to be
based on false motives from the start, and thinking of giving
up. I was lifted up thus: ‘Seeing, then, that we have a
great High Priest,’ &c. But at present, very cloudy
and doubtful regarding my matter, with the question beating upon
my mind whether a true work has been begun in me or not. But in
the face of everything, I say this: ‘Though he slay me,’
&c.
We have had precious privileges
in these past days, the ordinance twice, with a sweet savour at
the breaking of the bread.
Dear brother, I was glad to hear
the point about the circumstances of God’s Church being
made manifest to those who profess faith, because I think this
is not altogether strange to me in these turbulent days of the
winnowing of Zion. All awakened Christians are specially bound
in this matter to grieve over the sight of ‘the stones of
the sanctuary in the top of every street’, such as adultery,
theft and the like. I desire of you also to take the bride of
the Lamb to the throne of grace. Sigh much for her restoration.
Commend her to her Bridegroom, since ‘God will not cast
away his people which he foreknew’, because the covenant
is a covenant by oath, although she is a whore.
Two scriptures have been particularly
on my mind, one was mentioned above, and the other is this: ‘The
cup is in the hand of the Lord, and the wine is red; it is full
mixed, and it is poured out of the same; and all the ungodly of
the earth shall drink the lees thereof.’ Light dawned on
my mind; for if one of the cups that are spoken of is poured out,
the children will only be purged, because they are in a Father’s
hand. But let us pray often for help to suffer the treatment,
be it bitter as it may, to bring us to our place.
Now I will close; and this from
your fellow-pilgrim on the journey to eternity.
ANN THOMAS, Dolwar
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LETTER
II
Ann Thomas to John Hughes
17 February 1801
Dear brother in the Lord,
I have had an opportunity
to send you these lines, to let you know that I have received
your letters kindly, hoping that the weighty things contained
in them will find a place in my mind.
I am glad to hear of how things
are with you also in relation to your condition. Precious is ‘a
friend who sticks close’, as you say.
A word gripped my mind, which it
would perhaps be worth while for me to mention, on the matter:
‘Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these?’
I thought that there was need to pass beyond brethren and graces,
and love the Giver above the gift.
Another word gripped my mind: ‘Buy
the truth, and sell it not.’ It came to my mind that I was
content to give all that I possessed, be it good or evil, for
the Son in a marriage union. I think that every idle word, and
all levity of spirit, and all behaviour which appears contrary
to gospel holiness, is a total denial that we know Jesus Christ.
But in the face of our great wretchedness, how precious it is
to think of that word: ‘The Lord turned, and looked upon
Peter.’
I am cheered by the thought that
a sinner is free to speak so much of Jesus Christ before the throne
of grace, with heaven smiling and hell trembling. Let us magnify
our privilege that we have known something of the effects of the
eternal covenant decreed above. O to remain under the drops of
the sanctuary until the evening, and to acknowledge that they
have been purchased by blood. This would make sinners drop to
the dust. O to be at the feet of our good God as long as we are
in the world.
Now, I will send you some account
of the seiat at Pontrobert. In general quite bedewed and quite
awake as regards the greater part of the church at present. I
think she is no stranger to the wine which is distributed among
the disciples here on their journey.
If I should tell how it is with
me, I should wish to speak well of God for remembering me in the
face of many doubts. I have never seen so much cause to cry out
for the Rock in all weathers; and whether I die or live, this
is my cry: O to ‘be found in him, not having mine own righteousness,
which is of the law’.
I have heard a parable of a shopkeeper
who went to Chester to buy two hundred pounds’ worth of
goods; he received an invoice; it hung in the shop, naming and
detailing the goods; and a man came in and asked for a crown’s
worth of one of them; he replied, ‘I have not got a pennyworth
of it.’ Though many may make a grand show in the profession
of religion, yet in the face of temptation you ask, ‘Where
is their faith?’ A shout arose: ‘Little children,
cry for the wagon to come home; it is heavily laden, namely ministers
of the Word.’
Now I shall close; and this from one who longs to desire the prosperity
of those who journey to Zion.
ANN THOMAS, Dolwar
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LETTER
III
Ann Thomas to John Hughes
Dear brother,
I have had this
opportunity to write to you, hoping you are well, and to let you
know I have received your valuable letter. I would wish that you
would not neglect to send things that are profitable, and not
pay attention to our own neglectfulness, because you know the
cause, a lack of having hardly anything of value to send.
Dear brother, I should have been
glad to see you many times when in distress of mind and gnawed
by doubts of the verity of the visitations, and the partial revelation
of a Mediator, in view of a damnable, lost condition. And despite
trying many roads, failing to achieve my purpose. But on the road
of meditation I had a lesson from the advice given to Moses by
his father-in-law, to appoint sixty elders to judge the people
in cases which were commonplace and evident, but to bring the
great and obscure cases to him. I thought it necessary for my
perplexing condition to pass beyond ‘the watchmen that go
about the city’, and everyone, to God alone. It is a comfort
to me to think of this: when my condition is at its darkest to
me and my brethren, it is clear daylight in the court of the High
Priest. Thanks always for this!
I have found much pleasure in meditating
on the Shunammite woman setting aside a room on the wall for the
man of God to rest in when he passed by, placing in it a bed,
a table, a stool and a candlestick. Perhaps that woman, in her
longing for the prophet, often paced the room, and found cheer
in expectation of the man. But be that as it may, it comforts
the heart of a believer, in the absence of the visible countenance
of his Lord, that the furniture is still there in some senses.
For one thing, it is a sign that he has not been given up. For
another thing, it is too hot a lodging for a devil. ‘When
the enemy shall come in like a strong river, the Spirit of the
Lord shall chase him out.’ He cannot so much as raise his
head in the temple of God without trembling, nor look upon anything
within it, except his own footprints, without great fear. Therefore
let us cry often for the Holy Spirit to make his home in our condition.
Dear brother, things are somewhat
dark at present with the church at Pontrobert, under fire from
the world, and backsliders. I found great pleasure one evening
in view of these things in thinking what the Holy Spirit says
of her. Two scriptures were on my mind: ‘Glorious things
are spoken of thee, O city of God’; ‘The Lord thy
God in the midst of thee is mighty.’
This at present from your sister,
ANN THOMAS, Dolwar
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LETTER
IV
Ann Thomas to John Hughes
Dear brother,
I have been very
glad many times to send to tell you how things are with me. I
have received much pleasure and blessing from reading your letters,
which moves me very strongly to beg you earnestly not to withhold
your hand.
Dear brother, the warfare is as
hot now as ever, enemies within, enemies without. But of them
all, it is the sin of the mind which presses most heavily upon
me.
I find particular pleasure today
in thinking of that word: ‘And to Jesus, the Mediator of
the new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling.’ Something
new from loving the doctrine of purification. That word is on
my mind: ‘And the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth
us from all sin.’ I have never had a greater longing to
be pure. That word is on my mind: ‘The house, when it was
in building, was built of stones that had been fully dressed.’
I sometimes think I have no need ever to change my garment, but
a longing to be pure in my garment.
I should be well pleased to abide
more in the sanctuary, as you mentioned so fully and valuably.
I often expect to encounter some troublesome weather, though I
do not know what. That word is on my mind tonight: ‘By this
shall the iniquity of Jacob be purged,’ &c. O for help
to abide with God, whatever may come my way! And thanks always
that the furnace and the fountain are so close to one another!
There is nothing else in particular
on my mind at present, but remember about me often, and send to
me soon.
I am, your unworthy sister who loves
your prosperity in body and spirit,
ANN THOMAS, Dolwar
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LETTER
V
Ann Thomas to John Hughes
Dear brother in the Lord,
I am writing to
you at present because it is the tenor of my mind, in the face
of all kinds of weather, to tell you how it is with me, dear brother.
Dear brother, the most particular
thing that is on my mind is the great obligation I am under to
be grateful to the Lord for upholding me in the face of the winds
and the flood waters. I can say that my thoughts have never been
seized by the same degree of fear as in these days; but in the
face of everything I think to hang quietly upon that precious
promise: ‘When thou passest through the waters, I will be
with thee.’ I think it is enough to support me in the place
where two seas meet. Thanks always for a God who fulfils his promises!
Dear brother, the most pressing
thing that is on my mind is the sinfulness of letting any visible
thing take precedence in my mind. I am reverently ashamed, and
rejoice in wonder, to think that ‘he for whom it is a condescension
to look upon the things that are in heaven’ has yet given
himself as an object of love to a creature as vile as I.
As regards the dishonour done to
God by giving the first place to secondary things, this simply
is my mind: if nature must needs be pressed into the grasp of
death because it is too weak to bear the fiery rays of the sun
of temptations, I sometimes think I will gladly see myself stripped
of my natural life (if need be) rather than that glory should
go under a cloud while nature gets its pomp and its objects.
That word is on my mind tonight:
‘Go forth, O ye daughters of Zion, and behold king Solomon
with the crown wherewith his mother crowned him in the day of
his espousals, and in the day of the gladness of his heart.’
I think there is a high and peculiar calling for all who are subjects
of the covenant to leave their own ‘panneled houses’
to see their King ‘wearing the crown of thorns, and the
purple robe’.
No wonder the sun hid its rays when
its Creator was pierced by nails. To my mind it is a marvel who
was on the cross: he whose eyes are as a flame of fire piercing
through heaven and earth at the same moment unable to see his
creatures, the work of his hands. My mind is too overwhelmed for
me to say anything more on the matter. But on looking at the majesty
of the Person, it is no wonder that that word has been set down:
‘The Lord will be well pleased for his righteousness’
sake; he will magnify the law, and make it honourable.’
Dear brother, it is no wonder that
that word has been set down: ‘Kiss the Son, lest he be angry.’
Dear brother, there is nothing particular
on my mind to enlarge upon at present. But this I will say in
conclusion: I desire that the remaining part of my life should
be a communion so close that it might never again be my part to
say, ‘I will go and return.’ I should think, if only
this could be, I should be calm to meet providence in its frown
and its crosses.
I desire a special place in your
prayers. Remember to send soon. I am longing for a letter.
I am, your loving sister,
ANN THOMAS, Dolwar
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LETTER VI
Ann Thomas to John Hughes
[April 1802]
Dear brother and father in the Lord,
I received
your letter yesterday, and I was very glad to have it, hoping
that the valuable things which are in it will be of blessing to
me. I was very glad of the scripture which you remarked upon in
my brother’s letter.
But to proceed to tell you something
of how things are with me at present. I have been finding it very
stormy for a long time now. Very many disappointments in myself
continually. But I must say this, that all trials, all winds of
whatever sort, work together thus, namely to bring me to see more
of my wretched condition by nature, and more of the Lord in his
goodness and unchangeableness towards me.
I have lately been particularly
far gone in spiritual whoredom from the Lord, while yet holding
up in the face of the ministry like one keeping house well and
remaining in the fellowship. But despite all my skill the Lord
of his goodness broke through in these words: ‘If I be a
Father, where is mine honour? if I be a Master, where is my fear?’
Thanks to God always for the pills of heaven to send the sickness
on its way.
My stomach was so weak that I could
not feed on free mercy, in view of the path I was following –
‘having forsaken God, the fountain of all real consolations,
and hewn out for myself broken cisterns’. This word lifted
me somewhat on my feet again: ‘The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.’ I going astray, he a Shepherd; I powerless
to return, he an almighty Lord. O Rock of our salvation, wholly
self-dependent in the matter of saving sinners! Dear brother,
I should wish to be for ever under the treatment, be it as bitter
as it may.
Another word was a particular blessing
to me lately when I tried to speak to the Lord about the various
things which were calling me to go after them. This is the word:
‘Look unto me, all the ends of the earth, that ye may be
saved: for I am God, and no one else.’ As if God were saying,
‘I know of every call that is upon you, and how various
they are; but I also am calling. World is but world, flesh is
but flesh, devil is but devil. It is I who am God, and no one
else.’
I am under obligation to be grateful
for the Word in its invincible authority. I should heartily wish
to give all the praise to God the Word alone for leading me and
upholding me thus far, and that what remains of my life should
be spent in abiding communion with God in his Son, because I can
never glorify him more than, or so much as, by believing and accepting
his Son. Heaven help me to do this! – not for my own pleasure
alone, but out of reverence for him.
Dear brother, there is not much
else on my mind to expand upon, but think often of Zion throughout
the world, and in particular your dear old mother at Pontrobert,
for the shades of evening are almost covering her, and grey hairs
are spreading over her, and in a small measure she knows this.
This word is much on my mind, and on the minds of others too,
at the sight of her weak, disorderly, dejected appearance: ‘Is
this Naomi?’ Wrestle much with the Lord in prayer for her
sake, as a body of witnesses for God in the world, because his
great Name is in some measure being concealed by her in our backslidings.
Dear brother, I am very glad to
hear how things are in relation to your new work. Two scriptures
have been on my mind on the matter, one: ‘Thus shall it
be done unto the man whom the king delighteth to honour’;
and the other: ‘Surely the Lord’s anointed is before
me – but God sees not as man sees,’ that is why it
was necessary to send for David.
I will close now, with a request
that you send to me speedily.
I am, your unworthy sister who is
running swiftly towards the world that lasts for ever,
ANN THOMAS, Dolwar
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LETTER
VII
Ann Thomas to John Hughes
Dear brother,
I have had an opportunity
to send these few lines to you, to let you know that I received
your letter kindly, and to greet you in obedience to the exhortation
which it contained; but not only that, but I am glad to be able
to send to you regarding my present situation.
Dear brother, I have never conversed
personally or in a letter with such a low view of my religion
as this time. I feel ashamed as I say this, because my view has
been for so long so different to this word which first broke through
to me: ‘I have set before thee an open door, and no man
can shut it: for thou hast a little strength.’ Thanks to
God for ever for taking his precious Word in his hand to discipline
me! I reverently believe that it is so, and from that time until
tonight I believe that the blows of the sledge-hammer are to some
degree at the one ‘root of bitterness’ of self-esteem
and pride which troubles me. Yet, more of my lost condition has
been revealed to me of late than ever, and more of the glory of
the wise design to justify the ungodly, and of ‘God in Christ,
reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses
unto them’.
This is often my task at the throne
of grace: wondering, giving thanks, and praying. Wondering that
the Word should have found a way to treat the condition of such
a damnable, corrupt and guileful wretch as I, without slaying
me. Thanks for the lawfulness of the way, and because it glorifies
its Author, more than because it rewards its travellers. I pray
for the privilege of spending the remainder of my days as a life
of dealing with God in his Son.
I would be very glad to be prevented
from ever venturing to offer to God’s holy law less than
that which has satisfied it; not only because it will not accept
anything else, but out of reverence for it. I never before knew
so much reverence towards and love for the law, not in spite of
the fact that it brings a curse, but just because it brings a
curse in every place outside of a Mediator. Thus it shows its
perfection.
Dear brother, I was glad to read
the letter you sent to my brother, and the one to my dear friend,
Sara Griffiths, and their valuable exhortations in relation to
reading the Word. I too think, whatever we may have in hand apart
from the Word, that we are ‘spending our money for that
which is not bread, and our labour for that which satisfieth not’;
because the stomach of the new nature cannot agree with anything
else, and all climates bring illness except the breezes of the
sanctuary.
These words are of great value in
my estimation — ‘Thy neck is like the tower of David;
wherein there hang a thousand shields’ – in the face
of being naked without arms and without strength in ourselves
to meet our enemies. If I may only turn to the tower, I shall
find there armour and strength to run through faith in him, for
‘it pleased the Father that in him should all fulness dwell’.
Another word is on my mind: ‘A garden inclosed is my sister,
my spouse.’
Dear brother, I am under great obligation,
if I could, to speak well of God, and to be grateful to him for
a measure of communion in ‘the fellowship of the mystery’.
But this is my grief: failing to abide – continually departing.
I see my loss is great; but the dishonour and disrespect to God
is greater. O for this: help to abide. This word has been much
on my mind: ‘Meditate upon these things, and in these things
abide.’
Dear brother, there is nothing else
in particular on my mind, but to desire you to send me your thoughts
on this word: ‘ In all points tempted like as we are, yet
without sin.’
Two other scriptures are on my mind
in relation to Zion being in such a low state in these days:
1. ‘How is the gold become
dim, the most fine gold!’
2. ‘How is the princess amongst
the provinces become a tributary!’
There are some woeful signs that grey hairs have been spreading
in great measure over Zion in these days and that the shades of
the evening almost cover her. All awakened souls are under obligation
to wrestle much with the Lord, that he may send his winds upon
his withered garden, ‘that the spices thereof may be spread
abroad’, so that hell and all its subjects may lose their
breath through the strength of the perfume.
Now to conclude. I desire you to
remember me before the throne of grace. I desire you to send to
me at the first opportunity.
And this from your unworthy sister
who is swiftly travelling through a world of time to the world
which lasts forever,
ANN THOMAS, Dolwar
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LETTER VIII
Ann Thomas to Elizabeth Evans
Dearest sister in the Lord,
In accordance with
your wish I have written these few lines to you, and I am very
glad to have an opportunity to make known to you how things are
with me.
Dear sister, the most outstanding
thing that is on my mind at present as a subject has to do with
grieving the Holy Spirit. That word came into my mind: ‘Know
ye not that your bodies are temples of the Holy Ghost which dwelleth
in you?’ And on penetrating a little into the wonders of
the Person, and that he dwells or resides in the believer, I think
simply that I have never been possessed to the same degree by
reverential fears lest I should grieve him; and along with this
I was brought to see one cause, and the chief cause, why this
great sin has made such a slight impression and weighed so lightly
upon my mind, on account of my base, blasphemous thoughts about
so great a Person.
This is the flow of my thoughts
about the Persons of the Trinity. (I hear my mind being seized
by shame, yet bound to speak out on account of the harmfulness
of it.) I thought of the Person of the Father and the Son as coequal;
but as for the Person of the Holy Spirit, I regarded him as a
functionary subordinate to them. O what a fanciful, misguided
view of a divine Person who is all-present, all-knowing, and all-powerful
to carry on and complete the good work which he has begun in accordance
with the covenant of free grace and the counsel of the Three in
One on behalf of those who are the objects of the primal love.
O for the privilege of being of their number.
Dear sister, I feel a degree of
thirst to increase in the belief in the personal indwelling of
the Holy Spirit in my condition; and that through revelation,
not imagination, thinking to comprehend the manner and the means,
which is real idolatry.
Dear sister, when I look a little
at the inherent sinfulness of grieving the Holy Spirit, and on
the other hand look into the depths of the great Fall and see
myself wholly divested of all power to do anything but grieve
him, I am indeed in a strait. But this word is on my mind: ‘Watch
and pray’; as if the Lord were saying, ‘Although the
commandment is so harsh, and thou art so powerless to accomplish
one thing in a thousand there, on that ground, because of the
state of thy mind, come forth, try the throne, for the fervent
prayer of the righteous availeth much. My grace is sufficient
for thee: my strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Thanks
always for a God who fulfils his promises!
Dear sister, I should like to say
much about the efficacy of secret prayer, but you know more than
I can say about it; but I am fully convinced that it much surpasses
a host of armed men for facing enemies. I know from experience
of finding myself surrounded by enemies and having nothing to
do but that: ‘And I give myself unto prayer.’; and
that answering the purpose by causing them to fall backwards.
O for the privilege of being under the detailed dispensations
of the Holy Spirit. I think quite simply that a dispensation less
detailed than in that word will never fit my condition: ‘I
will water it every moment.’ Thanks always for a Bible which
fits a condition that has sunk so deep!
Dear sister, it is such a great
privilege that one’s condition can be found reflected in
God’s Word. O to hold it up to the holy mirror to the end
of making use of a Mediator.
One thing in particular on my mind
last night with regard to finding one’s condition in the
Word. R.J. spoke very valuably as regards matter, and there was
I so dry, so far away as regards my experience. Neither law nor
gospel had any effect on me, and this brought a degree of fear
into my mind, failing to think I could find my condition in the
Word, because law and gospel were seemingly useless. That word
came into my mind: ‘Go thy way forth by the footsteps of
the flock’; and I failing to see the footsteps of the flock
in that situation. But that word came into my mind with light
and warmth: ‘Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south.’
Thanks always for the rock of the Word to set foot on to start,
and the impossibility of starting without that.
Dear sister, I see more need than
ever to spend my remaining days in giving myself up daily and
continually, body and soul, into the care of him who ‘is
able to keep that which is given unto him against that day’.
Not to give myself once, but to live constantly giving myself,
right up to and in the moment when I put away this tabernacle.
Dear sister, the thought of putting
it away is particularly sweet sometimes. I can say that this is
what cheers me more than anything else these days – not
death in itself, but the great gain that is to be got through
it: to be able to leave behind every inclination that goes against
the will of God, to leave behind every ability to dishonour the
law of God, every weakness being swallowed up by strength, to
become fully conformed to the law which is already on our heart,
and to enjoy God’s likeness for ever.
Dear sister, I am sometimes swallowed
up so much into these things that I completely fail to stand in
the way of my duty with regard to temporal things, but look for
the time when I may find release and ‘be with Christ, for
it is very much better’, although it is very good here through
the lattice, and the Lord sometimes reveals ‘through a glass,
darkly,’ as much of his glory as my weak faculties can bear.
Dear sister, I am glad to say this
in conclusion. (I should like to say it with thankfulness.) Despite
all my corruption, and the device of hell, the world and its objects,
through God’s goodness alone I have not changed the object
of my love until tonight; but rather I desire from my heart to
‘rest in his love and to be glad in him always with singing’,
although I cannot attain to this in the slightest degree on this
side of death except by violence.
Dear beloved sister, I particularly
desire you to send to me with speed; do not refuse me; I shall
not be able to help taking it unkindly if you do. Ruth wishes
to be remembered kindly to you. I have nothing in particular to
send to you by way of news except this, that there is abroad a
certain spirit of ‘hoping all things’ to see signs
of the restoration of Rachel Pugh.
And this from your dear sister,
swiftly journeying through a world of time to the great world
which lasts forever,
ANN THOMAS
Wholly counter to my nature
Is the path ordained for me;
Yet I’ll tread it, yes, and calmly,
While thy precious face I see;
Count the cross a crown, and bear it,
Cheerful live ’mid all life’s woes —
This the Way which, straight though tangled,
To the heavenly city goes.
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